Alien Encounters
by the Raven of Roses
Summary: okay, so this isnt exactly a romance fanfic. zim and gaz dont fall in love or anything, but that was the only thing close enough to what this warped and twisted thing is. Sorta related to desperation, its about how gaz came to know zims phone number.


12-17-04 to 12-19-04

The door to the Membrane house shuddered under the force of a sudden blow. The noise gave Gaz only a moment's pause, being barely enough to draw her out of her videogame-induced trance. She glanced up, growled, and unlocked the six bolts that had been installed not too long before to keep out intruders.

Like anyone would be foolish enough to attempt forced entrance into the Membrane household.

At the soft _shick_ of the bolts being drawn back, the noises hesitated. A second later, the door had been kicked open, and a small black boot was visible sticking through the empty space the door had previously occupied. An impossibly small child stormed in, followed by a tiny gray and blue blur.

"WHERE is the Dib human?" Zim demanded in his customary screaming manner.

"He's _out,_ Zim. You'll have to play some other time." Gaz went back to her game. "Now go away before I make you wish I was never born."

Zim stared blankly at Gaz for a few second before turning to the small gray and blue robot bouncing around the living room.

"GIR! GET BACK HERE! We have to go wreak DOOM upon the Dib human's base, or something. . ." He tried to grab the thing's arm as it rocketed past, but missed and almost overbalanced.

"WHEE! I LIKE TACOS! BOUNCE WITH ME! LET'S MAKE WAFFLES! I LIKE MOOSE! PIGGIES!"

Gir crashed into Gaz, causing the preteen's Game Slave 3 to go tumbling to the floor. The batteries flew across the room, and the screen split into a spiderweb of cracks and went dark. A dull red glow began to intensify in Gaz's eyes.

"Gir. . ." she hissed, eyes narrowed even more than normal, "_what_ did you do?"

"I was playin' LEAPFROGGIE!"

Gaz slowly turned to look at Zim, and a red blaze from her optics nearly blinded him. "That was not good, Zim. Now either fix my GS3 or get me a new one. Or else I _will_ make your life a living hell."

Zim took a step backward. "Eh, I'll. . .just go to the Dib human's. . .LAB now."

He scurried off, reminding Gaz of a spider. A small, stubby spider, but nonetheless. . . She glared at him again and went to turn on the GS console hooked up to the television.

"Zim _will_ pay for ruining my GS3," she muttered. "He _will_ pay."

Half an hour later, after many crashes and small explosions in the basement, Zim stumbled back up the stairs, off-balance and looking like some of those explosions had hit him fairly close-range. Gaz barely looked up, and when she did, it was only to give the green kid a withering glare.

"DO NOT STARE AT ZIM, PITIFUL EARTH MONKEY!" he screeched, shaking an impossibly tiny fist at the girl's seated form.

"Want to play me in Morto Cumbatt?" she asked a second later, seeming to have completely forgotten about the GS3.

"Heh?" Utter confusion. "But the game device-"

"It was an old model. I just got the new GS4 a few weeks ago, thought I'd play some retro games before I got bored of them entirely. Now do you want to play me or not?"

Zim blinked rapidly, disbelieving. "Eh sure, whatever."

He sat down, shoved Gir off of his head, and picked up a controller.

Ten minutes later, Dib returned from an excursion focused on observing the family of Nosferatus down the street. He walked through the open doorway-Gaz had forgotten to shut the door again after Zim had come-and witnessed a scene that sent chills down his spine. His greatest enemy was sitting next to his baby sister on the couch, and they were playing. . .videogames.

"GAZ!" Dib shrieked, bolting for his sister. "GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER, ZIM! RUN, GAZ, HE MIGHT BE PLANNING SOMETHING!"

"Go away, Dib." Gaz didn't even miss a beat in her combat. "I'm busy."

"Leave us BE, Worm-Baby. I CANNOT AFORD TO BE DISTRACTED FOR EVEN A SECO-"

Zim's character crumpled to the ground, a puddle of red spreading around it. Zim started cursing in some unknown language while Gaz gave a slight smile. Dib stared blankly at this scene until his sister restarted the level.

"Gaz, how long has Zim. . .MY LABS!"

Dib flew off down the stairs, black trench coat catching on the railing and throwing him off-balance. A series of thuds followed his curse of anger and pain. Neither Gaz nor Zim bothered to check to see if he was okay.

Another string of curses and some screaming soon reached the ears of the two gamers. Dib had apparently found the damage.

"How long do you give it before he kills you?" Gaz asked evenly, in such a way that Zim couldn't tell if she was joking or if she was serious.

"Longer than your PITIFUL HUMAN life spans, Worm-Baby. NOW FEEL THE WRATH OF MY SUPERIOR PILOTING SKILLS!"

"Yeah, whatever." Gaz quickly obliterated Zim's ship and sighed. It had been a long time since there was anyone around worthy of challenging her skills.

"What? But HOW-"

"Watch your left pod defense, Zim. Anyone can see it's wide open there."

"Oh. Well, eh, I MEANT TO DO THAT! I am ZIM!"

"Yes, yes, we know."

"Earth Monkey?"

"Yes, Zim?"

"Where is Gir?"

Another scream and a curse came from downstairs.

"In the labs, more than likely," replied Gaz. "Should I pause the game so you can go get him?"

"No. . .He'll come back eventually. . ."

Much later, long after the sun had set and almost as the sun threatened to rise again, Zim put down his controller and stretched. Gaz had fallen asleep sitting up, her fingers still playing over the controls while she dreamed. Her character was currently running and attacking a wall repeatedly.

Zim turned off the console and carefully pried the plastic accessory from Gaz's hands. She growled, but didn't wake up. The Irken allowed himself a small chuckle before going off to locate Gir so they could go back to the base.

Gaz occupied her usual seat, the one that had previously been the perch of Tak, the wrongfully failed Invader. She hadn't returned since her defeat three years before, so the seat was now hers.

Come to think of it, the kid that had been sitting there before Tak, Brian, hadn't shown up again since he was moved to the "underground classroom" three years ago, either.

When she was ten, teh skool principal had realized that Gaz was smart. _Very_ smart. They moved her up a grade, and now she was in Miss Bitters' class, along with Dib, Zim, and a dozen other creatures that were by-now familiar to everyone but her. Miss Bitters' class was now the sixth grade class at skool-she always wanted to hold on to her students for as long as possible to better erase their minds-but at least this was the last year of elementary skool. Next year would start Joonyer Hi.

"Class, today's lesson is about health. There are billions of germs, horrible, _horrible_ germs on you right now. They are constantly trying to get in through your skin and make you _deathly_ ill. When _I_ was a little girl. . ."

Ah, a Miss Bitters story. The kids listened, wide-eyed, to a story of a terrifying disease that everyone in Miss Bitters' family and most of her town had died of. The story was about that most lovely of illnesses, the Ebola virus.

Gaz wasn't listening. She was absorbed in her GS4, figuring that the story was about something she'd researched to death when she was four. She was right.

"Gaz."

Gaz glanced up and met Zim's lavender gaze. He was trying his best to be subtle, but the loud bark of her name wasn't doing too much for _that._ Gaz gave a tiny, almost imperceptible grin and shook her head.

"Zim, be quieter. What?"

"Same time today?"

"Why not? Yours or mine?"

"Mine."

"Great. See you at four, then."

Gaz went back to her game, ignoring further comments from the Irken. She could see out of the corner of her eye a smile slowly forming across Zim's jade-tinted features. It had been only a month since the two first started to challenge each other to videogame tourneys, but already they were on first-name terms.

That didn't usually happen very quickly when one of the students' idea of politely addressing someone essentially translated to "Earth Monkey!" or "Worm Baby!"

The bell rang, and the students stampeded out the door, save for the three strangest of them.

"Gaz, let's go. I don't wanna miss Mysterious Mysteries. Tonight's about a giant monster that lives in the town landfill!"

"It's not on until eight-"

"Well, I gotta get ready for it!" Dib tugged on his sister's sleeve, looking for all the world like the younger sibling.

"Leave me alone, Dib. I'm in the Zone."

"But. . .Oh, fine. Just STAY here alone. I'm going home." Dib turned and stomped out, looking ever more childish with every step.

"I'm going out, anyway, so don't expect me home!" Gaz called, never taking her eyes off of the backlit screen of the GS4.

"PIT-I-FUL HU-man!" snarled Zim, glaring daggers at the retreating figure of his mortal enemy. "So wrapped up in his TELEVISION that he never sees the mighty foe that is ZIM!"

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go, Zim." Gaz stood and left the room, and Zim was forced to follow.

The two made their slow way to Zim's base, Gaz miraculously managing to avoid the heavy traffic that crisscrossed the busy roads. She never once looked up from her game. It amazed Zim that her foolhardy behavior hadn't yet managed to get her killed.

Gir opened the door even before they had gotten off of the sidewalk and catapulted into Zim, chittering happily. Zim overbalanced and hit the ground, barely catching himself before his skull cracked against the pavement. He growled something angrily and got up, kicking Gir off of him.

"GIR! Leave me ALONE! Gaz, come on in. GIR! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BRINGING THAT PIG OVER?!?!" Zim sighed and shook his head, walking into the house with a shrug.

Gaz smiled and allowed Gir to hug her before following Zim inside. The unfamiliar contortion of her lips slightly alarmed her until she realized that it was indeed a smile, not some hideous mutilation. She'd been smiling a lot lately. It was indeed strange.

"Gaz?"

"What? Sorry. What games do you have?"

Zim gestured to a mass of wires and consoles connected to the television. "They're Ir-Japanese things. Nothing English. Can the mighty GAZ handle being ILLITERATE?"

"Of course. Just turn the thing on. I'm getting bored."

Zim tapped the top of one of the game systems, and the television screen blurred into life, displaying characters that clearly weren't Japanese. Gaz stared at the unfamiliar symbols and said nothing.

"The controls are SIMPLE to operate, even for an Earth-for someone who _does not read_ Japanese. BASIC fighting configuration." He handed her a controller and sat down on the floor, tired of Earth furniture.

Gaz opted to join him. She looked almost regal, adjusting the cord of her controller and fixing her skull necklace back in place. That is, she _would_ have looked regal, if not for the narrowed, glaring eyes and hunched position bred from hours spent playing her GS systems.

"So this is a fighting game?"

"I suppose YOU would call it a first-person shooter game. There are MANY ADVANCED WEAPONS featured here, most of which your FEEBLE MONKEY BRAIN will not understand."

"Zim, you're doing it again."

"Heh?"

"You're being loud and annoying. Stop it."

"Oh. Eh, apologies, Earth M-Gaz."

Gaz experimented with her controller and blew off the head of Zim's character almost by accident. Zim growled and immediately switched to battle mode. The two fought for the next five and a half hours.

After Gaz left, Zim descended to his labs. There he found the computer playing cards with Gir, who seemed more fond of devouring the things than playing with them. He ordered the computer to bring up a link to the Tallest, the leaders of the Irken race.

"Greetings, my Tallests," Zim murmured, giving a shallow bow.

"Zim? Shouldn't you be out. . .doom-ing something or. . .something else?" Purple's vacant eyes held a glimmer of intelligence, but only just.

"Well, of course I must be doom-ing the humans, but I have news of interesting developments in the mission."

"And _what_, pray tell, are these 'developments?'" Red drawled, shoving a fistful of chips into his mouth.

"There is a human, Gaz, who is the sister of the Dib human. She seems to have taken a liking to me. I will use her to the best of my AMAZING ability to gain more knowledge of human weaknesses."

The two skeletal rulers glanced at each other and tried to keep from cracking up. Unfortunately, they were unsuccessful.

"Yes, yes, I know it is an INSIDIOUSLY EVIL plan. I am honored that you are amused by this. It shall make my mission all the easier to know that you are pleased with my progress. This is Invader Zim, signing off."

Zim saluted, and the transmission was cut. The Tallests took one look at each other and collapsed, howling with laughter.

Dib looked up as the door opened. Gaz walked in, shrouded as usual in her own dark cloud of resentment. Dib stood and caught his sibling's arm just before she vanished into her room.

"Gaz, where _were_ you? It's almost ten!"

"I was out. Why do you care?"

"I'm your brother! I'm _supposed_ to care. Where were you, Gaz?"

"With a friend."

"Doing _what_ for five hours?"

"Playing videogames."

Dib faltered. He knew full-well that his sister could spend hours playing videogames. She had a good case. . .except for-

"Who were you with?"

"Who are you? My _mother?"_

"Gaz. . ."

"Leave me alone."

Gaz snarled at him and disappeared into her sanctuary, slamming the door in Dib's face.

Ah, peace. Gaz smiled and allowed herself a breather. She switched off her shield and relaxed, letting her aura trail around the room like a ghost. Keeping up constant mental barriers could really tire a girl out. She melted onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, the ceiling she had decorated with little stars in the shape of the galaxy. How she wanted to be among them now. . .

But then a thought brought her back to Earth. She had a _friend_. Well, perhaps "friend" was too strong a word, but at the very least, she had a _companion._ It almost never happened to be that she made friends with anyone, not really even herself.

_Ah, the secrets we all hide. . ._ she thought absent-mindedly.

The girl started at the sound of a car door slamming shut. The Professor was home, it would seem. Too late for dinner, as always. The prospect of food made Gaz's stomach clench painfully, and she sat up to relieve the stretched feeling the organ developed when she forgot to eat.

The front door opened, then shut with a thud. People were talking in the living room. The Professor and Dib, more than likely, unless the Prof had finally decided to bring someone home with him. They were probably talking about Gaz.

_Maybe they think I'm doing drugs. . ._ she thought with a smile. _That would be amusing._

Of course she wasn't on drugs. The truth, though, might scare her family more than drugs ever could. Or at least it would terrify her sibling. Membrane probably wouldn't care. He never did. As long as she was home every night and didn't go around killing things, he wasn't concerned.

And come to think of it, if she stayed out all night and went on a mad slaughtering spree. . .he _still_ probably wouldn't care.

"Gaz? Open the door."

Membrane? He was at her door? _Talking to her?_ Gaz started and got off of the bed, unfamiliar confusion making her head fuzzy.

"Go away," she heard herself grunt automatically.

"Gaz, little girls have NO BUSINESS moping around in their rooms all night. Now open the door. I have _foooooooooood_. . ."

Gaz rolled her eyes and unlocked the four bolts on her door. (Membrane had insisted on her installing them in case someone ever broke into the house and she had to hide until the intruder left. Interestingly, he had not forced her sibling to put multiple locks on _his_ door.) Membrane stepped into the room, surveying the dimly lit lair of his youngest child.

"Well, glad to see you've consented to talking, Gaz. Your brother said you've been out all evening." He handed her a sandwich that looked like some sort of post-apocalyptic roadkill. "He also said that you REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT."

"I was just at a friend's house. We were playing videogames." Gaz took a bite of her sandwich and quickly disposed of the. . .could it even be _called_ food? (Membrane's cooking was not something to dream about, assuming that the dream wasn't a nightmare.)

"That's good. Which friend?"

"The foreign kid."

"Ah, I remember." No, he didn't. "How's skool?"

"Fine. . ."

Why was Membrane being to fatherly all of a sudden? He never showed an interest in his kids' well-being before. . .Gaz didn't trust him.. More than likely, he was just trying to keep up the ghost that they were a family. Gaz wanted no part in it.

"I'm tired. I want to go to bed now. Goodnight."

Gaz prodded the Professor until he left her alone, then locked the door behind him. A second later, she had collapsed onto the bed again and was absorbed in her videogame universe.

Dib knew there was something going on, something bad. Gaz had always been secretive, but going out all night and not bothering to tell anyone where she'd been or who she'd been with had him worried. It just wasn't normal.

Of course, he could only worry for so long. He was a paranormal investigator, after all, and some things just had to take the back seat when it came to a new lead. Dib had a new lead. It was in his most intriguing case, the case of the alien. Zim.

Zim had been quieter lately. Not the kind of depressed quiet that comes from a shattered self-esteem, but the calm, content quiet that comes from an immense victory. Dib was sure the Irken was planning something.

Now Dib watched his nemesis in the cafeteria, eyes narrowed to mirror his sibling's. Zim was picking at his food as usual, but for some insane reason, instead of his usual sneer, he wore a small grin, as though he were laughing at a joke no one else understood. It _infuriated_ him.

Gaz was focused on her game as usual, and when Dib poked her in the side, she snarled at him. Dib kept up the assault until she was forced to look up.

_"What?"_ she hissed, eyes glowing red.

"Gaz, watch this. I can't let Zim stay this smug for long!"

Dib picked up his milk and opened the carton just enough for some of its spoiled contents to leak out. Then he drew back his arm and hurled it with all his strength at Zim.

Zim screamed and fell to the floor, twitching. He quickly recovered, though, and stood up on the table, glaring at everyone in the cafeteria.

"WHO HAS DONE THIS?" he demanded. "WHO HAS DEFACED _ZIM_ WITH THIS EVIL LIQUID?"

Dib tried not to snicker. "I wonder who threw the milk at him, Gaz?" he hissed, grinning at his sibling.

Gaz just looked livid. "Why don't you stop torturing the green kid and work on some of your _other_ cases?" She said a string of words Dib didn't understand, but recognized as insults by the girl's tone.

"God, Gaz, lighten up. It was just milk."

Gaz snarled at him and left the cafeteria. Zim soon followed, screaming something about "raining doom upon your doomed human city of doom-ed doomness."

What was the matter with Gaz, anyway? She used to think torturing Zim was funny. Maybe she was hitting puberty. That sort of thing was supposed to happen to teenage girls. Hormones and stuff like that. But whatever it was, Dib was still uneasy. Girls were known to do weird things. She might develop some sort of twisted sympathy for the Invader and mess up Dib's whole mission.

Being Protector of the Planet was a hard job. God knew Dib was more stressed than most working adults combined. The _last_ thing he needed was a sister with Stockholm Syndrome.

Still, though, Dib went through the rest of the day worried about things in general. Gaz eventually faded from his mind as he focused more on what Zim might be planning. The Irken didn't return to skool after the scene in the lunch room, but then, he usually didn't when something like that happened.

The other thing, though, was that Gaz didn't return to class after lunch. It wouldn't have bothered Dib at all if he hadn't seen Zim leave right after her. He tried to put it out of his mind, but it refused to go away.

Maybe she'd gone home.

Maybe Zim had gotten to her.

Maybe he just ran screaming past her and left the building.

Maybe he attacked Gaz in some sort of murderous alien rage.

Maybe Gaz just beat him up and walked off somewhere.

Maybe Gaz was unconscious somewhere on the street.

Maybe. . .

The possibilities went on and on until Dib just couldn't take it anymore. He picked up his sister's old GS2 and lost himself in a virtual universe of vampire pigs and freakish nightmare worlds.

Zim ran screaming past Gaz in the hall and hit the front doors of the skool. Gaz watched him bounce back and hit the ground. She walked up to him and gave him her patented one-eyed stare.

"Are you okay?" she asked, looking down at his oddly-bent, still form.

"Of COURSE I'm okay!" he cackled, springing up with the speed of a squirrel.

And then there was a loud crack, and he fell over again.

"Yeah, right. You're _fine._ Let me help you, genius, you'll break something."

She took one of his gloved hands and pulled him up, marveling at how light he was, even considering his size.

"I do not need your help, Hu-Gaz." Zim wrenched his hand back and dusted off his clothes.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Of COURSE! I merely ran into a door! It is nothing!"

"One: stop being so loud. Two: I was referring to the milk thing."

"Oh. Eh, the milk was nothing as well. I'M NORMAL!"

"I know. You don't have to scream."

"Eh, sorry." Zim looked around. "Shouldn't there be a monitoring human around here? I recall seeing one before. . ."

"Oh, the hall monitor? We have a system worked out. He leaves the hall for fifty feet around me alone, and I don't kill him." Gaz smiled. It wasn't a good smile.

"O. . ._kay. . ._" Zim glanced toward the doors as if contemplating his chances of escape.

"I'm bored. Want to go back to my place?"

Zim started. "Heh? Er, yeah, sure, whatever."

"Great. Come on. I just got a new game, Vampire Hunter Piggie: Melee." Gaz started off without bothering to see if Zim would follow.

The Irken just smiled and started off after her.

A few hours and boxes of pizza later-Zim, for some strange reason, was fine with consuming the greasy sustenance-the two were deep in a round of VHP Melee. Zim was currently nearly beating Gaz; her damage almost to red while Zim's remained green. A single blast from Gaz's character completely wiped out her opponent.

"AGAIN!" Zim cried, throwing down his controller. "HOW do you continue to DEFEAT ZIIIIIIIIIIIIM?!?!?!"

"Skill, Zim. Skill."

Zim glanced at the clock above the television and suddenly cursed.

"What?"

"It's almost FOUR! The _Dib human_ will be back ANY MINUTE!"

Gaz sighed and switched off the game system. "Well, see ya, then. . ."

Zim was silent for a moment while they cleaned up the food and sorted out meters of wires. He finally turned to Gaz when he was about to leave.

"You could. . .stop by if you wanted to, later. . ." he mumbled, not at all on his usual level of articulation.

"That'd be great. I'll come by around maybe five or something. I just have to let my large-headed sibling know I'm home."

"Well. . .goodbye, then." Zim gave another grin and slipped out into the warm October afternoon.

Dib approached the house somewhat hesitantly. Was Gaz there? He hadn't seen her on his way home, but if Zim had gotten her. . .

He found the door open and Gaz on the couch, playing her GS4. This gave him more relief than he thought possible. He started to say something, but Gaz cut him off.

"I'm going out again. Don't wait to eat dinner. I won't be back."

"Whu. . .okay."

Gaz calmly finished her game, inhaled a few slices of pizza, and left. Dib stood there, mildly concerned and completely confused, for a long time after her silhouette vanished around the corner.

The small girl made her way to the Irken's home at no hurried pace. She had twenty minutes left to waste before she said she would be at Zim's, anyway. At exactly 4:59 pm, Gaz rang the doorbell and was met by Gir catapulting into her.

"The game girl here!" he squealed, hugging her with his stubby doggy-arms. "Master! Game person here!"

Zim came out of the kitchen looking annoyed. "GIR, what are you talk-oh. Hello, Gaz. . ."

He wasn't wearing his disguise. Bright red eyes widened in shock, and antennae twitched as if by a nervous habit. He stared at Gaz's cool expression for a long time.

"Eh, Gaz, I have something to tell you. . ."

Just as he uttered those words, Gaz spoke.

"Zim, I've got something to tell you."

Zim paused. "Heh?"

"Okay, I already know _you're_ an alien. Did you know about me?"

Blank stare.

"Guess not. Take a look, Irken."

Gaz let her shields go down. Her skin took on a bluish hue, and she grew another foot. A third eye opened in her forehead, and she smiled.

"Pretty, eh? I thought so, too." She let out a small laugh at Zim's expression.

"You. . .you. . ."

"Yes, I'm an alien. Neptunian, actually. Now what was this that you wanted to tell me?"

"You knew I was Irken?"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "No duh, Zim. Your disguise isn't _that_ good."

"Yours was."

"Yeah, well, my race has the whole mind-technology thing down pretty well. I've managed to fool my sibling, even."

Zim didn't talk for a long time. When he did, it wasn't what Gaz expected him to say.

"They're all supposed to be dead."

Gaz thought back. Fire, death, fear. Bad things. Bad memories.

"Not _all_ of us."

Zim blinked a few times, seeming to attempt to dispel a daydream. "Neptunian? The Irkens reported the last traces of life gone years ago."

"Irk killed my kind?"

"No. . .Something else did. We only got there for the clean-up."

"Don't bother pitying me." Gaz shrugged. "Things happen."

Zim still didn't move. Gir looked from Gaz to Zim and back again before giving them another of his stupid grins.

"Zimmy and Gaz person BOTH alien! WHEE! I like blue! TACOS!" He then ran off, presumably to find tacos.

"Are we going to play videogames or what?" Gaz was getting bored.

"Heh? Eh, okay."

They sat down in front of the television, more quiet than they had been earlier that day. The comfortable atmosphere of Gaz's house didn't seem to have carried over to Zim's. Now the two sat unmoving, keeping a small distance between them that neither wanted to diminish.

"Okay, Zim, when I told you to be quieter, I didn't mean for you to _shut up._"

Zim's gaze didn't leave the television. "And?"

"You are _really_ annoying, you know that?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

Gaz suddenly smiled. "As before, your words cost you the first strike!"

Zim's character crumpled, and a pool of scarlet grew around it. The Irken muttered something in a foreign language and scowled. A series of symbols scrolled across the screen, and Zim threw his controller at the television.

"Why so angry, Zimmy?" Gaz laughed, watching the alien stand and head off toward the kitchen. "Going to your lab?"

"Leave me alone, Neptunian."

Gaz stared after him, flabbergasted.

Zim sat in his lab, furiously working at mending some defective equipment. He wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing, which was fine with him. He didn't want to think about _anything_ right now.

"Eh, Zim?" His computer prodded him with a thin metal claw. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know. NOW LEAVE ME TO MY WORK!"

"That Gaz person is still upstairs."

"And?"

"Eh. . .maybe you should, I dunno, talk to her, or whatever you carbon-based life forms do when something is upset."

"I don't feel like talking."

"So. . ." His computer was trying to hold a conversation. What new low had this universe sunk to? "She's Neptunian, then?"

"So it would seem." Zim paused and glanced up at where he imagined Gaz would be sitting. "Her disguise was very good. BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO FOOL ZIM!"

"_Right._ You know she fooled you, don't you?"

"Of COURSE I-don't. She NEVER fooled ZIM!"

"Whatever you say, Zim."

And then the computer was silent. Zim breathed a sigh of relief and returned to his. . .whatever it was he was doing.

There was a small noise behind him. Something like the click of a GS4's controls. Zim turned-

"Hey, Zim." Gaz stood directly behind him, absorbed in her videogame.

"GYAH!" Zim fell off of his chair and sprang back up, panting. "Where did you-"

"Staff entrance."

"There's a staff entrance?"

"Kidding. Elevator."

Zim didn't reply. He picked up his scattered tools and glared at the insolent Neptunian.

"You about ready to talk yet?" Gaz asked, only looking at him with her third eye.

"Heh? About what?"

"The whole alien thing."

"Oh. Er, WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?"

"Stop screaming. You'll kill your voice. You know, I've noticed you _really_ start yelling when you're nervous."

Zim slowly shrank back. The girl had found her way into Zim's labs. Who knew what _else_ she was capable of?

"You don't have to scuttle off like that. I'm not going to hurt you."

Zim stopped. "Fine. What do we talk about?"

"How we're aliens, and maybe about how we're going to go about keeping the secret. Sound good?"

". . .Yes."

"Okay, then. Here, or upstairs?"

"Here."

Gaz smiled and sat down on the ground, ignoring the sharp bits of metal and plastic that littered it. Zim stared at her for awhile before beginning to pace, his odd walk bringing yet another alien grin to Gaz's face.

"So, you're Irken. I've heard about your race. Powerful people. Too bad you're short. Isn't rank determined on height?"

"Yes. . .but one day, all shall bow down to ZIM! Eh, sorry. I've not heard much about Neptune. . .only that it's been devoid of life for years."

"Yeah, well, some of us escaped. We're trying to rebuild, but it's hard. I came here because I got bored with waiting for the idiot government to stabilize." _And I was exiled for being the REASON the government couldn't stabilize. . ._ "How about you? Did you really get sent here to destroy the humans?"

Zim smiled triumphantly. "Yes, the Tallest sent me to this spinning ball of DIRT to destroy the life forms and pave the way for the _Irken Armada!"_

"Great, but don't you think that's a little cruel? There's probably some nice people here. You'd kill them along with all the idiots?"

"I am but a servant to the Tallest. I do what they command."

"O_kay_, then." _Goddess, he really IS a moron._ "Sounds a bit harsh, your planet. Are your leaders really taller than everyone else?"

"Yes, and they are the BEST TALLEST IRK HAS SEEN IN ITS ENTIRE EXISTENCE!"

"You're screaming again."

"Oh, er, sorry."

Hours passed, and finally Gaz decided it was time to leave. The sky was a deep violet. _Just like a bruise. . ._ she thought, making her easy way home under the pale light of a crescent moon.

They had discussed many things those few hours. Home planets, stories, weaknesses, strengths, almost everything they could think of that pertained to their races filled the cavernous rooms and echoed off of the walls-and was recorded by Zim's computer. But Gaz wasn't to know that.

She had put up her mental walls just before leaving Zim's base, glad to have had that opportunity to stretch and relax. The now-humanoid Gaz glided up the Membrane driveway, hopped over the laser perimeter guarding the yard, and unlocked the door with a paperclip. (For all the security, she was able to get in this way almost any night.)

"Gaz?" Dib sounded tired; he'd probably been asleep. "Is that you?"

"Yes, my annoying sibling."

"It's almost midnight! Where _were_ you?"

"Out."

"God, Gaz, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were-"

"Doing drugs? No, my arrogant brother, I am not doing drugs."

"That's not what I was going to say!"

"Oh? What _were_ you going to say, then?"

"I was. . .going to say 'If I didn't know better, I'd think you were out with _Zim.' _You weren't were you? He's evil, Gaz. HE'LL KILL US ALL!"

"Whatever, Dib. I'm going to bed. Follow and I'll set my security system to _kill_."

Dib chose not to respond, which was probably a good thing. His sister made her way to the dark lair she called her room and slammed the door. He shook his head and went into the kitchen to find something to eat. There was just no use in trying to figure out Gaz sometimes.

"Greetings, my Tallest." Another shallow bow, and Zim looked into the faces of his leaders.

They looked bored. Red was playing with a puppet, and Purple was stuffing donuts into his mouth like there was no tomorrow. Then again, for all they knew, there _was_ no tomorrow.

"What is it _now,_ Zim?" Red drawled, tying the puppet's arms around its neck.

"I have discovered more important things about the one called Gaz."

"Great. Couldn't you just send us a written report or something? We're busy." Red poked Purple in the side until he started paying attention.

"What? Oh, yeah, very busy. In fact, we gotta go-"

"But you don't UNDERSTAND! The Gaz creature, she's not human! She's a Neptunian!"

The Tallest, about to cut the transmission, stopped. "Neptunian?" they inquired together.

"I thought they were all dead," Red muttered.

"Yeah, how do you know she'd a Neptunian?" added Purple.

"My computer recorded the conversation we had earlier. This is a video feed from seven pm, earth time."

There was a small _ching!_, and an image popped up in the corner of the vid screen. It showed what was unmistakably Gaz in her alien form. The Tallest drew in a hiss of breath in unison, making Zim's smug smile widen.

"This is. . .not good, Zim. How many of them are there?"

Red's sharp voice cut through Zim's reverie. "Heh? Only a few, my Tallest. They are very disorganized. No threat to the mission, at least. But the Gaz creature has given me some interesting information on her species' weaknesses. I'll send a copy of the file. The Armada can use this in the case of a rebellion. The Gaz creature trusts me too well to ever pose a threat, though, so we shouldn't worry."

The Tallest were completely ignoring Zim, talking amongst themselves.

"Zim isn't supposed to actually _do_ anything!" hissed Purple. "Why can't we just blow him up already?"

"Shut up! Zim hasn't actually _accomplished_ anything yet. Befriending a Neptunian? Petty."

"But he might not want to kill them!"

"We never planned on having him _destroy_ anything, remember? So it doesn't matter!" Red hit Purple in the head with the puppet, and his head slammed into the vid screen, shattering the image.

"Eh, Zim, we have to go. We're, uh, BEING ATTACKED! AAAAAAAHHH!!!" Red cut the transmission and prodded his unconscious companion with a skeletal finger. "Purple? Puuuuuuuurple? You okay? Uh. . .MEDIC!"

More time passed. Winter was in full swing now, blinding white snow covering everything and everyone unlucky enough to be outside. Christmas was in the air, and so were the few frozen birds that were too dumb to go south.

Gaz stormed through this winter wonderland with a glare firmly affixed to her face. She kicked down the snowmen near the curb, leaving a trail of smashed snow and ice heads on the pavement. Winter was never her favorite time of the year.

"Gaz!"

She turned to see a small, green-skinned boy stumbling toward her. Three years on Earth still hadn't gotten Zim used to the wonder of winter called "ice," and as was predicted, he tripped just before reaching her and slid to a rest at Gaz's feet.

"Hi, Zim." She helped him up, surprised to see a small thread of steam rising from the Irken's hand.

Zim hissed in pain and drew his hand back. "Eh, must not have gotten that hand covered. . ."

"What?"

"Water Irken pain. Lots of pain."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Zim's eyes narrowed, his distaste for pity-or even suspected pity- plainly visible.

"We don't have skool today. You know that, right?"

Zim looked at Gaz in confusion. "Heh? Er, of COURSE I knew skool was not in session today! Why, it's because of that filthy HOLIDAY, isn't it?"

"Yes, Zim. It's called Christmas. Or Hanukah. Or Kwanzaa. Or something else. . .It depends on what your religion is. Don't make me explain religion, please."

Zim had started to open his mouth to speak, but Gaz's words silenced him. And if there was one thing he knew, it was to _never_ piss Gaz off.

"So why were you yelling at me, anyway?" Gaz inquired, giving Zim one of her sideways glances.

"No reason. . .I just saw you and. . .yes, well, now that we've established contact, do you have a desire for videogames today?"

"Is there any day where I _don't?" _Goddess, she was smiling a lot lately.

They wandered back toward Zim's base, the more frequent location for the aliens' tourneys. Few people were out on such a cold day, and the ones that were raced past, bundled up like drab versions of the gifts they would soon be giving out for whatever holiday it was that they celebrated. Gaz blinked the snow from her eyelashes and focused on the wispy clouds she exhaled. None of the humans were worth noticing.

Zim, on the other hand, surveyed the street with a wary stare. Anyone there could be a potential threat. That old woman crossing the road could have rocket launchers hidden beneath her coat. The children throwing snowballs might be concealing explosives behind their icy forts. That dog over by the corner was almost certain to have some sort of lasers that it could shoot out of its eyes. Zim whispered these things dementedly to Gaz, but she only smiled.

"Paranoid, are we?" she laughed, gazing at the people out and about. To her, they were all idiots.

Zim didn't answer. He just gave another furtive glance around him and vanished into the neon-green house dubbed his "base."

Gaz found him huddled in a corner behind a chair, shuddering. Somewhat confused and more than a little concerned, she sat down next to him and stared at the Irken until he started talking.

"So many Earth monkeys. . ." he rasped. "So many. . ."

"O_kay. . ._They scare you?"

"All potential threats. . .You don't know what it's like to look at them. . .FILTHY Earth slugs, all DISGUSTING and, and. . .not. . .good. They're terrifying. . ." He shuddered and looked back at Gaz, vaguely fearful. _"So many of them. . ."_

"I don't think I could _imagine_ going through life that paranoid. And I know what it's like to be scared of weird creatures, I mean, I came here twelve years ago or something. They freaked me out when I was new to the planet. But you can't just go around being terrified of humans. After all, you're surrounded by them. I learned a long time ago that they're all pretty dumb. Don't worry so much. Let's play videogames."

Zim slowly nodded and stood up. A few minutes later, the two were hammering away at the controls of yet another game, Zim's previous terror forgotten. Zim wouldn't want Gaz to remember, anyway.

He was an unstoppable death machine, after all.

In almost no time at all, the sun was setting. Gaz shakily stood, unsteady on legs that had remained still since early that morning. Her guise had been discarded the second she got in the door, and she hastily threw the mental walls back up in case someone were to look through the window. Zim remained sitting, but he gave her a smile that Gaz had quickly grown accustomed to.

"Goodbye, Zim. See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

Gaz smiled and left, locking the door behind her. The hollow sound of her footfalls on the path strangely reminded her of heartbeats. She was unsure of _why,_ exactly, but they did all the same. She breathed in the crisp, almost searingly cold air of December and wondered why it was that she stayed on this miserable little rock.

Then she look a look at the amazingly clear blue sky and smiled. _Of course. Neptune never had blue skies. _

Dib was eating dinner when she finally reentered the Membrane house. He looked up, sighed, and was silent. Gaz was glad of that. She didn't like lying to her sibling any more than she had to.

"I'm going to my room. Do we have any pizza left?"

"There's some in the fridge."

"Good."

She snatched a few pieces of the treat from the fridge and went to her lair, the click of locks ominously echoing through the house.

The next day, Gaz made the trek to Zim's base, almost shivering in the harsh wind that had decided to kick up as soon as she left the house. No one was out at that time of day, a fact she was glad of. Gaz didn't much care for people.

The door was unlocked, something that made Gaz a little worried. As paranoid as Zim was, he would _never_ leave the door open. Maybe Gir had forgotten to lock it.

But the house was too quiet. Nothing stirred, no noises reached Gaz's ears. She looked around. The television was off, and there were spider webs of cracks running over the screen's flat surface. Gaz moved toward the entrance to the labs cautiously, wondering if perhaps Zim had finally gone insane and destroyed Gir. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

Once inside, Gaz found that the could hear something scuttling her way. SHe turned just in time to see a tearful Gir launch himself at her head.

"Gaz-person!" he wailed, latching onto her face and refusing to let go. "Zimmy won't talk none! He saaaaaaad!"

"Where is he?" asked Gaz, calmly prying Gir off of her head.

"Over here!' Gir led the way to a room clearly designed for communications. There was a large vid screen in front of a control panel-looking thing, and like the television, it was shattered. Sparks spat intermittently onto the ground, bouncing like demented superballs. A small green figure was curled up on the ground behind the control panel, shaking.

"Gaz. . ." the base's computer whispered. "Zim isn't doing well. The Tallest had bad news for him. Talk to him, will you?. . .He won't listen to me."

Gaz nodded and slowly approached the Irken. "Zim? Are you okay?"

Zim turned toward her, red eyes blinking wearily. His antennae drooped pitifully, and the green face was lined and pale. He had obviously been crying, though he tried to hide it. His tiny frame shuddered, and he curled up into a tighter ball, turning away.

"Zim, what did they do?"

"They're not coming."

"What?"

Zim suddenly let out a shriek, and the metal spider-legs in his backpack shot out and shredded the control panel, ripping apart a decent amount of the floor as well. Gaz jumped back, feeling the ripple of wind from a claw that just barely missed her eye. Zim didn't seem to notice; he only screamed again and tore apart what was left of the transmissions equipment.

"Zim, what do you mean? Who's not coming?" She already knew the answer, but she still had to ask.

"The Armada is never going to come! They told me!" Zim went limp, the spider-legs clattering to the ground and retracting. "They're not coming. . ."

"Zim, calm down."

Zim turned his fiery glare on Gaz. "Why should I? The Armada is NEVER going to come! Do you know what that means?"

"It means you don't have to destroy the humans now. You can go back to Irk. . ."

"NO! DON'T YOU SEE? THEY NEVER WANT ME TO GO BACK!"

Zim shakily brought a hand to his wrist. A hologram flickered off, revealing a small device labeled "Self Destruct." Gaz's eyes widened.

"H-hold on, Zim. Don't do that-"

"Why not? The Empire was my only life! What do I have left _now?_ I HAVE NO REASON LEFT TO LIVE!"

Gaz tackled him. He barely saw her move, but the shimmer of her mental walls coming down was enough to alert him to her. He snarled and clawed at her face, surprisingly strong in his desperation. Gaz refused to let him go, and her hand flew to the wrist that held the deadly device.

"LET GO OF ME, NEPTUNIAN!" Zim screamed, flailing wildly.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SELF DESTRUCT, IRKEN!"

Gaz grasped his wrist and slammed it into the ground, crushing the thing to pieces. Zim gasped in pain as the sharp metal fragments cut into his skin, but with his escape destroyed, he soon went limp. Gaz, panting, sat up, still holding down Zim's arms.

"Zim, don't do this. You. . ."

Zim blinked. "You destroyed it. Why didn't you let me GO?"

"Because if you die, there's no other aliens to talk to." Gaz bit her lip. "And no one else on this rock can play a decent videogame."

Zim suddenly smiled. "Videogames. . .right."

"And. . .I don't hate you. I'd really hate to see you die."

Zim thought about this for awhile. "You know something, Gaz?"

"What?"

"I don't hate you, too."

Gaz laughed and caught the Irken up in a spine-crushing hug. This alarmed Zim until his skin started to burn from something that was falling on his neck. Gaz was crying.

"What is this?" he muttered, unsure of what to do.

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just happy. Zim?" She let go of him and looked him directly in the eye.

"Yes?"

"Let's play videogames."

Author's note: Sucky ending, eh? i know I completely destroyed all the characters on Invader Zim, but you know what? I had to. They're older now, and they have to change at least SOMEWHAT. Even so, I can't forgive myself for the mess I've made of Jhonen's fine work. A very kind review has told me that I did quite nicely with the man's show, but I'm a bit unsure of that. Something about Gaz speaking in complete sentences bugs me. . .Anyway, I do not own any of these characters. They all belong to the Lord of All Humans, Jhonen Vasquez. NICKELODEON HAS NO RIGHT TO CALL THE WORK OF SUCH A GENIUS THEIRS! heh, heh, sorry about that. I don't like Nickelodeon. . .And, eh, please review. No hate mail, though, please. Vent your spleens on some other poor Neptunian, dears. Farewell, and please do check out me other fanfics. (DESPERATION IS NOT A RIPOFF OF PIRATE MONKEY'S STORY. WE CLEARED THAT MISUNDERSTANDING UP ALREADY.) er. . .goodbye, then, I guess. . .

-Raven, your Friendly Neptunian Psycho


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